Super Hero or Super Freak? You be the Judge

I headed to Florida this week. As many of you know many of my doctors are in Florida. Not only my oncology team, but also my plastic surgeon. Let me assure you - once you've found a good plastic surgeon - you stay w/ that plastic surgeon. He becomes your lifelong friend. Some people have lawyers on retainer, I think I shall keep a plastic surgeon there. In other words you can be sure I will not be the one casting stones at Kate Gosselin.

Well, I've arrived in Florida and after pre-op and my oncology check-ups today I'm ready to proceed friday with surgery. It is my second of 3 surgeries I must go through to complete my breast reconstruction. I'm no stranger to this as you know I went through this same process in 2006 on the other side, but still surgery is surgery and it always leaves me a little uneasy as I approach it. You know the stuff. Fearful I'll forget to pack my goofy after surgery shirts. Sexy. Fearful I'll admit something else inappropriately while dozing into or out of anestesia. Fearful the kids will need their favorite pajamas or snack or something that I forgot to leave them prior to my trip. Fearful the hotel won't have TLC on the TV. Fearful, fearful, fearful, cause when I want to be . . . I'm a freak of fears. But my biggest one I had coming into this surgery was that I'll get the silly swine flu from the stale air on my flight down to Florida.

It's a legitimate fear. Both Jesse & I individually but on different dates the week following our flights to Pittsburgh from Grand Cayman ended up in the emergency room diagnosed w/ the flu. Now they don't tell you if it's the swine flu or not. And it really doesn't matter as the flu is the flu and my main concern here is it could keep me from surgery. So Tuesday, I faced my fears head on and jumped on a plane where the flu risk - swine or otherwise - is high.

Now I'm not a complete germ-a-phobe. But I do have some phobe where germs are concerned. You know like opening public bathroom doors w/ my sleeve rather than my hand. That kind. This is most apparent when I walk Lilly w/ me into any public restroom stall. You can hear me the whole time repeatedly saying "Don't touch anything. Noooooo! Don't touch. Noooooo! Aaahhhh! Stand right here. Noooooo! Touch nothing. Dirty. Dirty. Dirtyyyyyyy!" If you're a mother you're with me on this, right?! So if that makes me a germ-a-phobe. Then yes, mame, I'm a germ-a-phobe. But truly. These are the exception. I don't think of myself as living in a plastic bubble.

But Tuesday was different. I was not chancing the flu. So I did it. I bought myself a mask. A mask much like the ones I wore back & forth from Grand Cayman to Tampa when I would come for Chemotherapy. Now it didn't bother me then as at that time I was also bald and missing most of my eyebrows - so the mask - least of my worries on the "do I look okay scale?" if you know what I mean.

But this time I was embarrassed. Embarrassed that myself and only one other woman had a mask for our flights. The other woman had her mask on way before she even got on the plane. Brave! But me, I slithered into my seat, looked apologetically at the man next to me and said, "Don't take this personal. I'm a cancer survivor going for a surgery and can't risk getting sick on the plane." Poor guy! Too much - too much information for someone simply trying to read a book on a plane while thinking "who is that masked woman?" Me, Julie "putting pride aside for the sake of a new breast" Graubard. That's who.

So there you have it. More stories of the adventures of Julie. Super Hero or Super Freak? I'm going w/ freak because everyone knows - if I were a super hero I'd have used my "I dream of Jeanie" powers and head bobbed my way to Florida with a blink of the eyes.

A Side of Being a Young Cancer Survivor Most People Don't Realize Exists

Now let me start this blog by saying "Dear Reader this is not a call for your help." It's simply my venting a side of the whole cancer walk many people will not know is a cause of stress for me. Why would you, for we have been so blessed with friends and family who have helped. Unless of course you know me, really know me, then you might have seen in me how stressful I find this to be.

As a breast cancer survivor, I have had to go through not only 1 or 2 surgeries, but we're up to about 14 by now. Of course, not all of them are major surgeries, but that's the count Scott and I have going. I could count them out for you, but it might bore you almost as much as it bores me. Then there's chemo. Not once did I get to go through this, but twice. Then there's radiation. Ditto. Oh, and did I mention Dr.'s appointments. Countless doctors appointments that will continue perhaps at a lesser rate, but will continue until Kingdom come. Most of you already know all this about me. So why bring it up now at the tail end of this round of surviving breast cancer yet again. I'll tell you why, because it's hard having a young family and continually having to find help for the family as we walk through even the easy stuff like appointments.

But back to my stress point. A lot of these appointments take not only me, but also Scott away from the family. Me, as the patient and Scott as my personal hand holder.

It goes something like this. Who's going to pick Jesse up from school? Oh my, what will the kids eat tonight? McDonalds again? Sure? Are we overburdening Josh, who is constantly the third parent? And now we have baby duty all over again w/ Lilly. Oh no, one of them is in diapers again! This complicates things! And we can't call on someone to watch the little ones who we've just met. I just can't, they hardly know my kids how will I go into surgery or rest in good conscious! Is there a little seat in the operating room we can strap Lilly to, complete with a packet of animal crackers and a bottle? Scott what do we do this time?! Does my Mother have to make another trip with me thus giving up her life in Pennsylvania to do so for another 6 weeks at a time? What about my good friend Lynne? Or Erika? Or Judy? All have put in countless hours. Have we not called on them enough? Do people look at me like I'm an Amway Salesman. Don't make eye contact . . . here she comes!

On a side note, I did rebel a little in 2005 to 2006 against all the appointments in my life. I didn't go to the Dentist. I need the Eye Doctor too much, so I had to go to those appointments. But thank the Lord Jesus I have amazing teeth without cavities. So I skipped Dental cleanings and appointments for a time period, knowing I could get away with it since I'm such a good flosser. When I finally did return to the Dentist. She said with concern in her voice, "What kept you away? Are you afraid of the Dentist?" I exclaimed, "Are you kidding, I love how I feel after a Dental cleaning, I was simply being a rebel where I could get away with it!"

Now while most people do not make us feel this way, it's still a burden on my little heart. I ache thinking, who can I ask this time to help out. Nobody, except maybe, maybe Scott will ever realize how draining this is on my personality type. The, "please don't let anyone think I am taking advantage of them, I hate to have to overburden people, I like doing stuff myself" personality type. Sounds like pride, huh? Pride with a small mix of paranoia mixed in, but it's there and it's real and it stresses me out almost more than the silly disease itself has. And it's time to go through this yet again as I head back to Florida for surgery #2 of my reconstruction surgeries. Yay me!

On a good note, and there's always a good note, I praise God I am healthy. And as I prepare for my next surgery while also preparing to find help with the kids, I remind myself, this, too, shall pass. This too, I shall survive. But if you're reading and you've ever helped for a day or for more days than you can count. Then know I love you. Both Scott and I do more than you'll ever know. And thank you in the future for daring to make eye contact w/ me even as you see my next surgery coming up, for it tells me you understand my angst of asking for help I never planned on needing. We have amazing friends and family. We are blessed.

As always I thank you for all the prayers along the way.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
- Philippians 4:13

Love you all,

Julie and the family

Island Girl - trapped on land

Well, it's been a while since I wrote, so today w/ all this Julie/Julia movie stuff going on like so many others I felt I must get at it. Yes, of course. Maybe I need to write about what it's like to be a survivor - not just of breast cancer, but of reconstruction surgery, too. Maybe I should write about it once a day for 365 days. Or maybe I should write about whatever it is Julie wrote about for 365 days while she cooked from Julia's cookbook. What? Or maybe I should write about what it's like to move back to the US after 2 years in the Carribean writing about what the weather was like each of the 365 days per year that we were there. Sunny, 1000 degrees, w/ a chance of showers for about 1 hour that will make it hot, hot, hotter later in the day.

Seriously folks, it's been a long time since I blogged and I look back embarrassed that the last thing I wrote about was the infamous Jon & Kate when even Jon & Kate don't care about Jon & Kate anymore.

So let's just start w/ a quick update. Since leaving Grand Cayman we've had quite the ride. Josh left Cayman at the end of June the day after school was out at Triple C. Jesse, Lilly and I left on July 6. We headed to Beaver, Pennsylvania for the first leg of our adventures beyond Cayman. It started out a good trip, but ended in a blur for me as I got sick and ended up leaving Pennsylvania for Ohio in an achy state. So after about a 10 day stay w/ my Mom in PA, we headed for Ohio to stay w/ my friend Lynne at her farm in Alger, Ohio where we were reunited w/ our dog, Lucy, who barked at us at first and then looked at us like we seemed familiar. Then you could see on her face the "Oh yes, it's my family!"

Alger is right outside of the town of my Alma Mater, Ohio Northern University located in Ada, Ohio. Ada, Ohio where I had lived for not only 4 years for College (in the day when parents said you will be in college for 4 years period and they meant it). Then after a couple of years back in my hometown I returned to Ada, Ohio where I was employed in Admissions for 8 years. So as you can see - I spent 12 years in old Ada, so it was nice to return - however, I was still sick and really didn't get to enjoy it. Keep reading I promise our adventures get more exciting as I did head to Florida from there for Reconstruction. Yay me!

After a short stint in Ohio at Lynne's, the kids, Lynne and I loaded up in her car and headed to Florida. I had reserved a cottage to live in for the month as I knew from previous reconstruction surgery that I needed to be in town near the Doctor for follow-up appointments and recovery for at least a month. Lynne kindly agreed to help w/ this. Now lest Scott or my Mom are reading - they did both come and take care of me, too, but Lynne was the one who was there the whole time. God bless her. So in a cottage on Treasure Island became home July 19-August 19 (my 9th wedding anniversary I might add).

On August 19th Lynne, the kids and I loaded up the car and returned to Ohio. Now you may be wondering (or maybe you aren't) where Josh & Scott & Garbo ended up. Josh had been visiting his Mom in Pennsylvania and friends in Florida throughout the month of June, July & into early August. Scott arrived in Florida for my surgery w/ Garbo in tow the weekend before my surgery. Garbo had a short stay w/ our crazy friends Matt & Robin and their kids who foolishly loved on both our dogs before we went to Cayman. But back to the boys & Garbo. Scott returned to Cayman to finish out his contract out which was up on August 4th. So in August Josh, Scott & Garbo headed north together and made a stop to see David & Megan on their way to Ohio where they met up w/ us a day after the little ones and I returned to Ohio. Now, Scott, Josh, Jesse, Lilly, Lucy & Garbo and I are all in Ohio. The girls (including the dogs who are girls as you know) are at Lynne's home and the boys are staying w/ our friend Pat. And this is home for the moment. The kids are enrolled in the Ada Schools and we have a home to rent which we can get into hopefully in a week. So here we are in Ohio awaiting our next move. And there you go. You're caught up.

Keep on me now as I need to keep writing.

Love you all & ask for continued prayer for direction as the job search continues.

Julie

Jon and Kate plus a sad fan

I know it's ridiculous, but I am so saddened by Jon & Kate and their recent separation. Are they victims of stupidity! Did plastic surgery & pedicures & hairstyles make their harmless little life of parenting all those kids go down a wrong path? Sure. But who of us would pass up a free tummy tuck?! Is Kate mean? Sure. Does John put on blinders and seem oblivious most of the time when there are 8 kids to be parented? Sure. But they sound like normal parents of lots of kids that forgot they need God in the middle as it's hard. It's so hard. I mean is Kate mean or is John a slacker? Both. Which came first . . . the chicken or the egg? Who cares. Why isn't someone counseling them to get through this - they've invested so much and were just about to get them all in school. We can all be judgy - but the truth is they are marriage today. It's hard. Hard I tell you . . . but if he did not cheat, if they really are both believers - I so wish someone would pray and pray hard w/ them to fix this and take a break from the media. Am I passionate about this? No, why do you ask?!I need a sandwich.

The Grand Grill of Grand Cayman's for Sale . . . Twice

Since we will be moving - we had our garage sale to sell a few things. Good idea. Mostly we are selling our toys as we don't own much in the kitchen or elsewhere and we'd already donated clothes.

So we had two big items . . . a crib . . . and the infamous huge grill we inherited. It's been a good grill in spite of our having the little roadside charcoal grill God sent us during our first Hurricane here, but still - the big grill was a nice addition to our grill owning.

Well, as you can imagine this grill was a great find for many. Too many it seems.

We sold the grill to a very nice man - a man who said "a nice man let me park here during a hurricane once . . . Scott." This man is a new grandfather & we doted on his grandbaby. We were happy to bless this man. He'd come hoping our charcoal grill was on sale - had his sites on it from the road hoping it would be for sale. And then he found the Grand Grill of Grand Cayman in our garage. I had to tell him, I'd love to sell you the grill, but a woman came by this morning and I promised her I'd wait until tonight when her husband could come by and inspect it. So he went on his way - still he stopped by once in the afternoon to see if she'd called back.

So I decided. Here's an eager buyer, I'm going to call the woman who spoke for the grill and ask her if she is indeed still interested. See when she saw the grill - she'd inquired about it and our car as well. And then a friend drove by and she asked him to look at the grill. They went on their way promising to call back or stop back in the early evening.

I called the woman and asked. Do you still think you are interested in the grill? I have a man particularly interested and so if you are not, I was going to let him have it. She said, oh my husband has not responded so if you have a buyer let him have it. I promised her I'd call her should he change his mind and it still be on sale.

Our buyer eagerly came & paid for the grill excited about his new purchase. He and Scott made plans to meet up in the morning to load the grill in his vehicle so he could take it home.

Off I went to work yesterday morning, telling Marcia, Scott will be home at some point as we sold the grill in the garage & the man is coming to pick it up. I went off to work, knowing Scott would take care of this.

Mid-morning a call came from the buyer. "I'm here to pick up my grill and your babysitter says she sold the grill to a man who came & paid her and took it away." "What?!" I exclaimed. "Where is Scott?" "Scott was going to leave the grill outside as I couldn't meet him when he was available, but your babysitter said someone came and gave her $100 and she sold the grill." "What?! Let me talk to her."

Well, after all was said and done. All Marcia knew was someone was coming to get the grill. And someone did. And they paid her for it. Leaving one sad man, w/ a rack of ribs to barbecue waiting at home and another man . . . who we suspect was the friend of the original lady who was going to buy it - who is happy and grilling like crazy today.

The man who was sad did have such integrity as he was angry. But he came back and kindly paid $10 for the monitor set we had given him telling him no worries pay us tomorrow. We tried to gift these to him, but he insisted. He's a great man. I called the first lady and asked for the grill back, but she said it was not her husband and if she heard anything about the grill she'd call back. She never did - but she did have the same name as the name Marcia said was the friend of the man who purchased. Yeesh!

Praying guy #2 comes back, but figuring it's in God's hands now.

And so it is w/ the Grand Grill of Grand Cayman . . .

The end.

I'm out of control

Today has been stressful to me. I've been on edge and I realize it's all about control issues. Further, as I was thinking about it I realized - it's not God who I don't want to have control of my life. It's everyone else.

You see, I'm one of those people who will do anything to stay out of conflict. And sometimes that means I actually cause it. In fact in my pursuit of pleasing and getting along with others - I try to make peace come even at the expense of my unrest. And most of the time I do it quite passive-aggressively I might add.

So as I pondered this today. I realized I think where I struggle is the idea that others have any control over my life. Sometimes I give it to them. Often in fact. Sometimes I seek approval so much that I give up a part of myself trying to get it. At times I've caught myself actually seeking other people's approval so much that I forget it's really God's approval I should be seeking. Period. But then there are other times when I feel like people feel they have the right to inflict their needs or their time constraints on me so much that I lose control in that way as well. I think this one is harder for me. This is when my well-developed ability to feel guilt works on me the hardest. This is especially difficult for me when it moves into my family life. It's when it's affecting my family that I find myself most irritable. A Bear protecting her cubs!

This lead me into a deeper question for myself. When other people feel the need to inflict their needs on my family. Am I angry because they are taking control of my time? Or am I angry because I've lost my own overzealous control of things?

I gladly give God control over my family's life. In fact I prefer it for I know His plans for our life are meant for good. However, I do not know whether or not I want to give it up to other people. This is something I will continue to pray and ponder.

Julie thoughts about the Conflicted . . .

I just received one of those forwarded emails about how God is mentioned in every state constitution of the United States. A reminder in the beginning He was welcomed into the USA.

You know what's saddens me in general. In the US you see such conflict - you see it in Cayman, too. People say - don't let God be a part of decisions - it's an infringement on rights of those who don't believe - right?! That's cool if you want to live that way US - but then why the heck do people expect Him to show up or ask why He doesn't when a tragedy happens. I thought you didn't believe so why do you have expectations of Him in your world. Hmmmmm. Conflicted peoples. I'd say.

I mentioned this to my husband, Scott, and he reminds me . . .

Through out history God has answered the prayers of the few who remained faithful. Remember Elijah and the Prophets of Baal?. I choose to be one of the faithful. I pray for the strength and determination to be faithful at any cost.

I have to say . . .

Agreed. Amen.

Cling to His neck. He hears you.

Waiting is hard

Just felt like sharing my feelings. I say I am a Christian and that is true. But today I feel like I'm failing somehow.

When we came to Cayman we signed on for a 2 year contract. But we never knew when we'd leave we'd have no answers as to what's next. Now, no one knows better than we do that life happens no matter how much you try to take control, so you might as well just give. But that said - I'm still trying to hang onto control! So I pray the mighty prayer God has given me "Lord, I know you promise to take all things from us if we let you . . . so please, Lord, help me to loosen my grasp on this and give it to you."

I feel like that selfish girl on Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. "I want an Oompa Loompa now!" For I want answers now!

I want to know - what is next for the Graubards. The economy is bad . . . not just in the US, but in Cayman as well. Cayman just doesn't realize it yet - but it's a coming. If the US fails - we fail here as we are a tourist industry.

But that all said - it doesn't matter as it's not about material things. We've had material things - they don't protect you from cancer - and you can tell me go green, go organic all you want - I am not the statistic that gets cancer - did you hear me - I am not the statistic they expect - I eat whole wheat bread and vegetables - prefer them to sugar (mostly) so stop w/ your organic eat well advice - it didn't stop me from getting cancer.

The good news. The Lord pulled me through - not once, but twice. I am healed and that is enough for me. Cancer taught me way more than anything else in my life - so make no mistake - God has been good to me.

But I am scared, frustrated and unhappy not knowing what's next. Still I cling to my faith. He feeds the birds and dresses the flowers. We will be ok. Still my stomach hurts. Thanks for listening.

Prayers welcomed. :)

"So, What is Your Prognosis?"

“So, What is Your Prognosis?”
By Julie Graubard
April 14, 2009

The other day I was at the beach w/ my family and some family friends when the question came. “Julie, so what is your prognosis?” I’ve only ever heard the question a handful of times. Each time I’ve heard those words directed toward me I’ve felt like my heart would stop and my face would turn white. I would stumble over words for an answer to assure them I’m fine. What I really want to do is shout, “My prognosis is good! You didn’t know that? How could you even ask? How could you not know that? I’m fine! Just as fine as you are!” But instead I say, “Oh, good, quite good, I’ve been given a clean bill of health.” Following a question like that, I try desperately to make sure they know I’m ok. I’d be lying if I told you the conversation is over in my mind. The thoughts following the conversation stay w/ me in the pit of my stomach for days. The reality that I have had a disease which has left people w/ that question in their mind is disturbing to me. This brings home the harsh reality that I truly had been a very sick girl, one who has left people concerned for my well-being.

Despite how hard it is to hear this question, I’d rather people ask. The reality is not many people have the nerve to ask the question, but when they do I’m left with an unsettled feeling. Make no mistake I prefer people to ask the question to the many in my path who must be wondering about my prognosis even though they do not ask. For since they do not ask I do not know to answer them. I wonder do they sit around assuming I will always be sick or this horrible disease called cancer could take my life. Maybe I’m self-absorbed for thinking anyone is thinking about my family. But people are curious. And there are those who have prayed for us along the way. Some heard of our family through the kids’ school, others who see us at church each week watch my hair slowly grow back. I want to offer them my answer.

When something like cancer hits your family, you may recover; but your life has changed forever. In a way it is a good change. You are aware of your blessings like never before. It’s possibly a better way to live, but it also leaves you feeling different. My friend calls it “the other side of the street” – the feeling you get when your extreme circumstances make your life significantly different from others. It is like you are stuck on the other side of the street away from those walking the so-called normal path. Some refer to it as a “new” normal type of life. Me, I tend to just think I don’t fit. Period. At least not in the way I used to. If I’m to be politically correct I might refer to myself as differently-abled. I feel different from everyone else. While maybe I hyper perceive everyone seeing me as different, there are still many who do

For me, feeling like I no longer fit in shows its ugly face in many ways. One is how vulnerable my own body has become – like it has let me down in some way. Other times I’m angry others seem to me to be exempt from sickness and that I failed because it happened to me. We all feel exempt or invincible sometimes – why wouldn’t we when we’ve never experienced stuff such as cancer or loss of a spouse or a child or a tragedy along those line? But I assure you of this - once you’ve experienced one of these types of extreme vulnerabilities, you never go back to a normal life. You realize you are indeed vulnerable to life and what it throws at you. You ultimately have absolutely no control. Sure you can make wise choices and live a responsible life, a healthy life, but I assure you, it’s a fallen world and life will still happen. The only real control you do have is how you will respond. Will you turn to the Lord or go it alone?

That day at the beach, I answered my prognosis is good. But really, my prognosis is as good as anyone else’s. But do we all see that?

This brings to me my own question for everyone else. So, what is your prognosis? I mean, do you really know? Our days are numbered and no one really knows when the Lord will come and take us home. How do you answer? What is your prognosis?

An acquaintance who works in the front office at my boys’ school just lost her husband a few weeks ago. He was not sick. This woman, a kind woman who I would often stop and talk with & who seemed to adore Lilly was a bright spot in my day. Now suddenly she has been sent flying by a hurricane strength wind to the other side of the street as she became a widow. Her husband was flown from Grand Cayman Island to Miami, Florida in an emergency helicopter after being diagnosed w/ a stroke/blood clot and died within the week. This was a shock to the family. It was completely unexpected. Apparently his prognosis was not good, but no one knew that. No one would have asked. Certainly if I had met him I imagine it never would have crossed my mind to say, “So, what is your prognosis?” The question would sound absurd.

This is proof positive to me the one thing we can be sure of is whether or not we will choose to walk through life w/ Jesus by our side. Will we ask him into our life? You see I do know my prognosis is good in one way. We had a friend named Frank. Frank battled cancer himself. If you asked Frank how he was doing he’d say, “I’m good. I can’t lose. If God heals me . . . then I am blessed to stay here much longer to be with my friends and family. But if he takes me home to be with the Lord . . . than I am blessed.” Frank was right. He realized something we all should. With Jesus our prognosis is good.

I hope God let’s me live for many more years. Through the ups and downs this life on earth brings I continue to cling to Him, begging Him to draw me in closer. Like everyone else out there who knows Jesus, my prognosis is good. Excellent really. For I know the Lord, Jesus and with him by my side, leading me . . . I cannot lose.

I may be different, but it’s a good different. Cancer helped me to see that.

We have two great choices to make in life. Will we give our lives completely to the Lord? Yes or No. And if we do, will we follow his most important assignment. Will we lead others to Him? I ask you again . . . So, what is Your Prognosis?

A letter I wrote to our home church, the Vineyard Church of Clearwater

A letter I wrote to our home Church, Vineyard Church of Clearwater for their Talent Night where they showed off their God-given creativity as a form of Worship. My friend, Janet reported it was well attended w/ 60 guests as many attended as attend any church service and very interactive with many "gifts" presented. There were more than 20 persons presenting objects and about the same number doing stage things. I believer seeds were planted, they were planted indeed.

May, 2, 2009

Hi all,

I wish I could be with you in person for your talent night! For I know it will be a great event. So know that I am praying for you from a far. Praying the Lord will bless this event more than you even can imagine at the time of the event. That seeds will be planted to later be harvested.

Since I was unable to be there I am sending you my essay, “So, What is Your Prognosis?” I started writing it one day as I was journaling. Tonight I send you the finished, edited copy. But there is more to this essay then you will read. This essay became a part of a vision I kept having to have church by the sea. The event you prayed for just last weekend entitled, “Sharing from the Heart.”

Sharing from the Heart was an amazing event. We bought pizza & pop and brought my friend, Lisa, an amazing Worship Leader and held church facing out at the beautiful Caribbean Sea. As our guests looked up front at us they were also watching the sun setting behind us as we praised God and shared his Word. Amazing! Something only He could have created.

But there is more. It’s not a numbers game, but 40 people showed up. Our pizza and pop were like the loaves and the fishes as they multiplied leaving us w/ leftovers. People generously donated covering all our cost. But that’s not the important stuff either. The important stuff was the comments. We were able to pray for the lady in my essay who lost her husband just weeks before. A good friend of ours Mom, whom we adore, commented if we did this weekly she would attend. She stays home from church each week as her husband a strong believer goes. And most importantly of all. A co-worker of Scott’s showed up in his office this week to say, “I’m really close to giving my life to the Lord since I heard Julie’s testimony on Sunday.” Scott said, “Why wait, let’s do it now.” And there in his office at work she gave her life to the Lord. If that one life is why God gave me a Vision for this event, it was worth it. If this one life is why we were even sent to Grand Cayman, it was worth it.

So while I wish I could be there in person, I send my thoughts via an essay.

Enjoy & be blessed,

Julie Graubard
Running Towards the Goal - Phil. 3:12-16

You're Invited . . .

Sharing What's on the Heart ♥

You’re Invited!

A night of Praise & Worship, One Girl’s Story & a little Pizza & Fellowship, too!

Join my friend, Lisa, & I and our husbands as we share w/ you Worship & A Message from My Heart entitled "So, What's Your Prognosis?" - One Girl's Testimony of What she learned through her Walk through Breast Cancer not once - but twice? Come find out how in spite of the trails we faced as a family, we found blessings and peace along the way. If you get nothing else out of it you'll have great fellowship & laughs - lots of laughs - come here my story! Who knew Breast Cancer and trials had a funny side?!

Date: Sunday, April 26, 2009
Time: 5:00pm - 7:00pm
Food & Fellowship: 5:00 p.m.
Worship & My story begins: 5:45 p.m.
RSVP: princessjulie1213@gmail.com for details & location
Bring $5 if you're keen for Pizza (we're ordering in)!
We'll provide beverages.

We hope you can make it!

The Moo Farm

Well, it's official, we have found the Moo Farm. The Moo Farm you ask? What's that? Well, thanks for asking, I'd love to fill you in.

If you haven't visited us yet than you are not aware of the fact that just down the road from us is a big field where there are generally anywhere from 4 to 6 cows tied up grazing. We've always enjoyed watching the cows as we walk or drive by. But nobody enjoys them as much as Lilly.

Anytime you mention the cows she gets really excited and starts mooing. And it's a very sweet & drawn out Mooooooooooo! Well, Scott started a routine w/ her. Around dinnertime she is often a little fussy as she's hungry and usually getting tired. So in an effort to help me out, Scott started taking her for walks to see the Moos. So now at the first site of Scott as he returns from work, Lilly goes running to him jumping around happily, going Moooo, Moooo. And she jumps in her stroller and they are off.

In their daily adventures several things have happened by the moos. Always funny stories. And Scott has met the farmer, of course, and the caretaker of the cows, also an of course. And he's learned about the Moos. So they have learned most of the Moos are quite friendly and it's ok to pet them. Except for the mean Moo who they know to stay away from. So we do enjoy driving by day and night and watching them.

But the field moos aren't the greatest thing we've discovered. On one of their walks Scott & Lilly found the actual Moo Farm. A pen with several young cows just one neighborhood over. They drove me by once and I fell in love.

So in an attempt to have fun w/ Lilly one day, Jesse, Lilly, my babysitter, Marcia & I all drove to the Moo Farm when we were taking Marcia home. And Lilly started Mooooing out the window. Then one cow started Mooing back. Then Lilly and I would moo some more and then one by one like crazy sounding windchimes they were mooing at us. We were all laughing hysterically, but no one was laughing as hard as Marcia. She said, "Julie, they are angry at us! They think we've come to feed them and now we aren't. They see your car pull up and it's feeding time and you aren't feeding them!" Very funny, poor cows.

Turns out, that's true. I hope their food came shortly after. Well, not really.

When we drive by as much as I like meat, I see these sweet little faces and start calling them baby and then start shouting "Don't eat! It's a trick" Of course, I knew this, but it was never so evident as when many of them disappeared during the Christmas Season.

Now it's become routine sort of, Jesse has taken over for me yelling "Don't Eat!" But Lilly quickly counters "Eat!" Nice, right.

So what I've learned about all of this is Moos may come and go in your life, but Lilly proves to me the best thing to do is to just continue visiting the Moo Farm and be happy to see whoever is out waiting to Moo back.

My Son the Famous Shoe Kicker!

Jesse had Field Day this past Friday and so I went to cheer him on. But more importantly he came home w/ a blue ribbon for 1st place. He's so proud of it. He carried it to the supermarket and everywhere else we went all day. At what event did he win? The Shoe kick of course.

The PE teacher explained, you will untie your shoe & pull your heel out and just have the front of your foot in the shoe & then toss it as far as you can, blah, blah, blah. I say blah, blah, blah, as after she gave her explanation of the event - they heard no more. Instead like Graduation Caps soaring through the air - so it was w/ shoes flying everywhere. I was giggling so hard as I was texting the scene to Scott. I said - they so need video of this - she's lost all control and it's so funny.

Then it happened. Right before Jesse's big win, the 2nd grade boys stood on the line preparing to kick - I said, "Jesse," and then looked to the boys around him, too, & said - "you guys know - kick out - not up!" And they smiled agreeing.

So I watched from the sidelines like any proud Mom as my son's shoe flew through the air over the teachers' heads (he says he hit one - which makes me aware it could have gone even further) and by no question at all - his shoe went the furthest by a long shot. And I cheered and he smiled from ear to ear as those kids always beat him in the races and he was so proud!

It was so funny! I love that a Graubard won such a silly event! Sketchers. That's the key. I knew they were shoes that rocked!

Tiny Dancer Busts a Move

I've had a little bit of a hard time adjusting to being a mostly stay at home mommy w/ a baby again so I decided to try out this play group thing. It wasn't intimidating as it's held at a community center as opposed to someone's house. The first 1.5 hours is just free play & they have a craft table where they have a craft they can make. Lilly made a frog w/ my help. Therefore, I had fun. They also have little kid food & coffee for grown-ups. A nice touch. But the best time for both Lilly & I was the last half hour when they put away the toys & replace them w/ instruments. At that time they do music time playing songs such as the Wheels on the Bus. In case you didn't know, Lilly loves to dance thus her nickname Tiny Dancer. Anyway, so she started out shy sitting on my lap and sort of shaking the bells they gave her. But it didn't take her long to get up & go into full routine taught to her by Josh where she points her fingers & pumps her arms. She marched to the middle of the room to perform her little dance. It might not have been quite as funny to everyone else, but I had the picture going through my head of Josh dancing w/ her. It was sort of like the end of Little Miss Sunshine - only not as rude. Very, very funny. Josh calls her Mini-Me. I assure you, Mini-Me made him proud today.