Waiting is hard

Just felt like sharing my feelings. I say I am a Christian and that is true. But today I feel like I'm failing somehow.

When we came to Cayman we signed on for a 2 year contract. But we never knew when we'd leave we'd have no answers as to what's next. Now, no one knows better than we do that life happens no matter how much you try to take control, so you might as well just give. But that said - I'm still trying to hang onto control! So I pray the mighty prayer God has given me "Lord, I know you promise to take all things from us if we let you . . . so please, Lord, help me to loosen my grasp on this and give it to you."

I feel like that selfish girl on Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. "I want an Oompa Loompa now!" For I want answers now!

I want to know - what is next for the Graubards. The economy is bad . . . not just in the US, but in Cayman as well. Cayman just doesn't realize it yet - but it's a coming. If the US fails - we fail here as we are a tourist industry.

But that all said - it doesn't matter as it's not about material things. We've had material things - they don't protect you from cancer - and you can tell me go green, go organic all you want - I am not the statistic that gets cancer - did you hear me - I am not the statistic they expect - I eat whole wheat bread and vegetables - prefer them to sugar (mostly) so stop w/ your organic eat well advice - it didn't stop me from getting cancer.

The good news. The Lord pulled me through - not once, but twice. I am healed and that is enough for me. Cancer taught me way more than anything else in my life - so make no mistake - God has been good to me.

But I am scared, frustrated and unhappy not knowing what's next. Still I cling to my faith. He feeds the birds and dresses the flowers. We will be ok. Still my stomach hurts. Thanks for listening.

Prayers welcomed. :)